Egypt: Luxor Valley of the Kings (17 December 2020)

The alarm goes off at an unearthly hour. I drag myself down to breakfast and Winter Garden truly delivers in this regard. Ordering potato, beans and sausage from the menu brings 7 mashed potatoes, 3 tins of beans and 5 sausages. Probably too much food, delightful nonetheless:

I meet Ali outside the hotel in his usual spot for hassling tourists. To the West Bank we go, taking in the Valley of the Kings, Funerary Temple of Hatshepsut, Ramesseum (Mortuary Temple of Ramses II), Medinet Habu (Temple of Ramses III) and the Colossi of Memnon.

On the way Ali mentions that he lives on the West Bank with his family. I ask him what they do. His father sides are sailors and his mother's side are stone makers - at this point I already know I'm getting dumped at an alabaster factory at some point during the day. Egyptian touts are always out for your money.

Stop number one is the Valley of the Kings where, for a period of nearly 500 years from the 16th to 11th century BC, rock-cut tombs were excavated for the pharaohs and powerful nobles of the New Kingdom. Yet again we pull up to an empty car park, with only two other tourists in sight in the whole complex. Another blessing to have such a great sight practically to myself.

Your entry ticket gets you access to three tombs - these are changed on a rotational basis. You also have the option to purchase tickets to additional tombs: Tutankhamun's Tomb (250 EGP), Ramses VI (100 EGP) and Seti I (1000EGP - a mind blowing £50!). I went for Tutankhamun and Ramses. As I'm buying my ticket I ask the ticket man which tombs are the best and he provides his opinion. I hand over my cash and I receive my cash back. 'Something for me, I help you out'. The classic Egyptian line. I begrudgingly hand over 50p to get moving.

A silly electric trolley awaits to take you up the slight incline to the start of the tombs. 'Mr, come and sit in the front, VIP seat'. The trolley driver then attempts to sell some sub-par maps and photos - I flat out refuse his offers. After three minutes of slow moving, I am free to explore.

Tomb of Rameses IV

This was a spectacular start and an eye opener for the rest of the day. Each tomb has a chap sitting outside, some sort of tomb guardian, who collects tickets and in my case follows me around for a tip. This may sound annoying, but to my advantage these tomb guardians turned out to be my personal photographers and allowed me to jump over a few barriers. It also avoids some of anti-photography rules that I had read about.

What surprised me was how deep the tomb was. It seemed to continue underground for a short eternity. Secondly was how vivid the artwork and hieroglyphics still are - the colours you see are 4,000 years old and have not been restored.

The vast sarcophagus awaiting at the depths of the tomb.  

The tomb guardian of course asked for Baksheesh. 10EGP sufficed for this tomb. A personal photographer but no added extras.

Tomb of Merenptah

Possibly my favourite tomb. This tomb was 160m in length! The walk back to the exit was somewhat taxing given the depth and elevation. Truly astonishing that this was all possible thousands of years ago.

In this tomb, the tomb guardian really took it upon himself to earn his baksheesh. We jumped over barriers and even ended up standing inside the pharaonic sarcophagus - something I'm sure is relatively frowned upon. At this point the tomb guardian asked for baksheesh and we had an argument over a fair tip whilst both in the sarcophagus - the spiralling photo summing up both our emotions.

Tomb of Rameses III:

Getting all tombed out at this point. My final tomb included in the ticket price was that of Ramses VI, 96m underground. This tomb had plastic screens along the tomb walls, showing its popularity amongst the tourists. This somewhat took away from the experience.

This time we had a chance to do even more exploring. The tomb guardian told me to hop a barrier and talk a walk to an unlit part of the tomb, currently under going further excavation. This was actually pretty terrifying - trampling through an ancient tomb in the pitch black. The Mummy's Curse flying around my brain:

This tomb guardian really earned his Baksheesh - 20 EGP went his way. As I was leaving and taking a few more photos, two other tourists entered. I was annoyed at their presence - that's how blessed I was during my trip, the mere presence of two other tourists was annoying. These two did not get the full 'climb over a barrier and go explore' experience.

Tomb of Rameses V & VI

My first additional tomb was that of Rameses V & VI, and amongst the most impressive of the tombs.

There was only a small amount of barrier jumping in this tomb. The tomb guardian receiving a cool 20EGP -  at this point I was losing the will to argue.

Tomb of Tutankhamun 

This was my first additional tomb, and as I had read, one of the more disappointing tombs. It was very small and far less decorative due to the sudden death of the boy king. It is however, the most significant tomb in the Valley of the Kings, being the only fully in-tact pharaonic tomb ever found.

The man himself:

Another tomb guardian and another opportunity to jump a barrier

As the tomb was so small, there was only a limited amount of exploring to do. Unsurprisingly, this tomb came with two tomb guardians - double the hassle. They earned themselves 20EGP...to share. Despite their protestations, they did not do enough to earn any more.

With the Valley of the Kings complete, I jumped back on the trolley down the gentle slope and again the driver tried to sell me some sub-par maps. At the exit of every tourist attraction you have to run a gauntlet through a market of traders selling their crappy ware, clearly starved for sales over the pandemic period. Back at Ali's taxi, who is fast asleep, I wake him up and we head to the next stop.

Funerary Temple of Hatshepsut

The next stop was the Funerary Temple of Hatshepsut. The temple consists of three layered terraces reaching 29.5 metres tall, carved directly into the cliff face. With adjacent trees, which were quite frankly the most disappointing trees I've ever seen. 

This temple was actually slightly busy - with a couple of small bus loads of Egyptians tourists. One bus containing (I think) a very large family, with the many children sharing one camera and perfecting their snaps for the Gram. Cue the numerous selfies and posed photos for prosperity's sake. I do wonder where these photos end up.

One lady, wearing a hijab and a bright yellow fur parka, even in the 30degree midday sun, took a keen interest in me and even gave me a gift if a faience coloured necklace. I can only assume it was a pre-wedding gift. Having local Egyptian friends meant I was hassled far less by the tomb guardians - with my new friends telling the guardians where to go. I have my new wife to thank for the photo below:

After another couple of marriage offers, to sisters of random Egyptians (and one Egyptian asking me if I had a sister he could marry), I departed the spectacular temple. These small interactions with normal Egyptians restored by faith in Egyptian people. I was now able to divide Egyptian touts, always after your money, and everyday Egyptian people - who were lovely.

Medinet Habu (Temple of Ramses III) 

The vast Mortuary Temple of Ramesses III was again eerily quiet, except the the usual tomb guardian and armed guards. I shoed the tomb guardian away but encountered a new foe. An English speaking armed guard. Conversation was jovial at first but then he asked if I had a wife and then a boyfriend. He was fixated on the boyfriend aspect, and I'm pretty sure I was being hit on by a creepy Egyptian guy with a gun. The temple itself was very pleasant though.

Ramesseum (Mortuary Temple of Ramses II)

This temple was totally deserted except for a German lady wearing a burqa, escorted by a young Egyptian guide/toy boy. She excitedly explained a good photo opportunity to me which involved her young Egyptian guide/toy boy scaring the birds so as they fly overhead. Disappointing photo op.

The temple is famous for its fallen Ozymandias colossus.

 THE ALABASTER FACTORY!

As predicted, we ended up stopping for a 'free mint tea'. Which then drifted into the story about Ali's family being stone workers. Which ended in a free tour of Alabaster construction. 

In the 'no-hassle shop', I scoped out a pot that I wanted to buy. He opened with a price of around $100, I enjoyed ridiculing the offer and playing hard ball to eventually leave with the pot for $2.

Colossi of Memnon

The final stop was the Colossi of Memno - two large sculptures of Amenhotep III, both of which had seen better days. 

A tourist bus turned up as I was leaving and a parade of selfie sticks, ill-fitting shorts and awkward posed photos descended on my trip for the first time. Having the sights to myself definitely made the trip 100 times better. Thanks Covid.

Finall, I made it back to the Winter Palace and had a superb club sandwich and a Fanta, perfect for a day of 30 degree heat and tombs.

Planning my journey to Aswan tomorrow, I decided to message Ali who said he could drive me there. I was feeling generous so heard him out, 'pay whatever you want'. So I speak to Ali and tell him I would pay the same as I did today - around $30. At this moment he turns on the scam, and tries to claim it wold cost double that one way - which was a big fat lie. I was so disappointed with Ali that I didn't even negotiate with him and just left him sitting alone in his taxi. Point reinforced - any Egyptian taxi tout is only out for your money.

Reinforcing the hassle factor of Luxor. In the evening I crossed the road and was hassled by around five people in the five minutes it took to take one photo.

In the evening i went in search of Luxor's only Indian restaurant to no avail, and had to unfortunately settle for pizza. The walk back along the promenade via all the touts would not have been worth it.

Egypt: Luxor Temples (16 December 2020)

I had heard varying stories on the quality of the sleeper train. However, having taken 3rd class sleeping Azeri trains, 20 hour Vietnamese trains and completed a whole host of interrailing, I was ready for what would come my way. Surprisingly enough the train was clean and I had not real complaints...at least until the train started moving.

The train is pricey by Egyptian standards - $80 for the overnight journey. Foreigners in Egypt can only purchase certain trains for their own 'safety', or maybe because sleeper trains are far more expensive and makes easy money for the country. Having said that, the train did pull up with two young police officers in the front wagon wielding AK 47s.

In my bunk was a fellow Brit from Oxford which helped to wile away a number of hours talking about travelling and Central Asia in particular. 

The sleep wasn't great. The train shuddered for all 10 hours. The rattling was incessant. And the driver was blowing the train horn for the entire journey. As we were in the first coach, the horn felt like it was in our room. Nevertheless I managed some sleep and we arrived in Luxor at around 5.30am.

Emerging onto the platform, there was only one taxi tout who was easily brushed off. Maybe Luxor wasn't as bad as I had read. However, upon exiting the station we were met by 10 touts who wouldn't take no for an answer. Me and the other Brit split and went our separate ways. I had an eerie walk to my hotel on the deserted back streets of Luxor, only with Caleche riders (horse drawn carriage), following me for different lengths of time berating me to jump in. I did manage to catch a lovely sunrise over the Nile:

After 20 minutes of walking I made it to the Winter Palace and was able to check in early and get some much needed sleep.

With a couple of hours rest, I set off for breakfast around a ten minute walk away. On this short walk I was hassled by around 10 touts - markets, caleches, taxi, sunset cruises. This would be a common theme in Luxor. Everyone is out for your money, which I assume can only be exacerbated by the lack of tourists currently in Luxor. The most annoying aspect is that they do not leave you alone. A 'la shukran' (no thank you) sufficed in other areas, but not Luxor. 'How did you know my name was la shukran'. You just have to get used to ignoring everyone and have them follow you for a minute before they give up.

I found my breakfast spot and grabbed falafel for breakfast - a great breakfast choice if you've not tried it!

In the restaurant I was sat upstairs by an open window. Even a floor up you do not get any peace. Caleche riders would shout for my attention as I'm eating and berate me for a rider later. I took the picture below not know that I was looking over Luxor Temple, I attempted to find this area next and totally missed the entrance.

As eluded to above, I tried to make my way to Luxor Temple but went the wrong way and missed the entrance entirely. At this point I decided to carry on along the Corniche to the Luxor Museum which may provide some respite from the numerous touts. The Luxor Museum was a sea of tranquillity and calm and made for a perfect break before continuing to the Karnack Temple at the opposite end of Luxor.

Arriving at Karnack, I was yet again only one of a handful of visitors. The car park, usually brimming with taxis, buses and tourists was completely empty.

Karnack Temple was constructed from 2000BC and the current site is absolutely huge. The most incredible part of the temple were the huge columns of the Great Hypostyle Hall. I am reliably informed that there are 134 columns in 16 rows, standing 24 metres in height:

Inside the temple I walked around for a couple of hours taking in the sites and getting some photos for the Gram courtesy of my tripod and Bluetooth shutter button - the joys of solo backpacking. I stopped for a Fanta - a pre-requisite for any hot day and paid a princely sum of 50EGP (around £2.50). Truly outrageous pricing, but the on café in the temple ground has a somewhat captive audience to toy with.

After a good few hours of walking in the sun, I decided that I couldn't face the 40minute walk back to the hotel, so I spoke to the some gaggle of taxi drivers. 30EGP back to the hotel was agreed and the conversation quickly turned to football and in Egypt that means Salah and Liverpool.

As I jumped out of the taxi, the taxi man who was always stationed outside the hotel had a moan at me for not using his taxi. You can't win in Luxor.

At this point the hotel was akin to a tranquil paradise. The Winter Palace was built in 1886 - an imposing yellow Victorian building that is in need of a lick of paint. A delightful 'century-old Royal Gardens' allowed an escape from the ever present Luxor hassle.

Back in my hotel room, I start planning the trip to the West Bank tomorrow and come to the realisation that the moany taxi driver out front could actually be of use to me. I speak to him and negotiate a price for a full day of West Bank site-seeing. The cost was around 600EGP (around £28). After a quick coffee/beer with the chap from the train, I head back to the Luxor Temple for the night visit.

For me, the night time visit with the lights didn't add too much to the wonder. If anything, I'd imagine daytime would have been better as a lot of the temple was in darkness.

After the temple, I headed to Sofra which came very well reviewed online. Again, I was the only person frequenting the restaurant on the evening. The meal was solid.

After eating, I stroll back to the hotel along the local side roads in the hope of avoiding any remaining touts.

Egypt: Memphis, Saqqara and Giza Pyramids (15 December 2020)

 An early start was in order for my day tour to Saqqara, Memphis and Giza.

I had a tour guide and a driver, for $50 for the day - whether this was a good price, I'm not entirely sure. My options were limited due to time so I took the hostel's recommendation. We set out to the first stop of the day to Saqqara. Saqqara is a vast ancient Egyptian burial ground, just outside of Cairo. There are numerous pyramids in the complex, the stepped Pyramid of Djoser is the most famous.

We arrived at the complex which was deserted - there were no other cars in the parking lot and certainly no other tourists. The starting point was the stepped Pyramid of Djoser:

The pyramid was built in 2670 BC and is considered the forerunner of the more famous pyramids found at Giza. The pyramid was awe-inspiring and it still blows my mind that these structures are over 4,000 years old and stood as the tallest man made structures until the Lincoln Cathedral was built in 1311 - some 3,000 years later.

Although we only saw one pyramid, there were many more in the complex. Some resembling pyramids and some looking more like mounds of earth:

The next stop was Memphis - an old capital of Ancient Egypt. We visited an open air museum containing many statues and items recovered in modern day Memphis. The most impressive being the colossus of Rameses II:

This 10m statue is still perfectly detailed and is another mind blowing piece of Egyptian history. It was discovered partially submerged in a river - local thought that the visible part of the statue was a crocodile. The statue is one of a pair, with the other being located in the Egyptian Museum.

At Memphis we had a tea break, and would you believe it - the driver's friend owned the tea place and wanted to show me something out the back. This chap then proceeded to show me numerous ancient Egyptians artefacts and coins that his dad had dug up in the garden. The items looked genuine and I did haggle on a couple of items, ignoring the inevitable antiquity smuggling laws, however the chap was asking for ridiculous prices so we could not make a deal.

Next up was the grand finale, Giza. Giza itself is a city in its own right within Cairo, and the pyramids appear just off the boundary of the city. We arrive and I have to haggle myself a horse or a camel for the afternoon - I was told that I could walk to the pyramids but I would miss the Giza plateau which offered great photographic opportunities. Camel it is. Now, I definitely got bumped on the cost of hiring the camel. I usually pride myself on getting good prices where ever I go, but I'm sure this was a bump. You can't win them all and this experience and the accompanying photos are something I'll remember for the rest of my life, so it was a price worth paying. 

I set off on my camel along with my guide on his horse, a small limpy man who needed a large stone/object in order to jump onto his horse. We took the meandering path to the Giza plateau which was spectacular. 

At the plateau, my guide unexpectedly turned personal Instagram photographer and I ended up with this set of shots:

After my photo shoot concluded, we took the camel further into the pyramid complex. Firstly stopping by a tomb that was 'closed to tourists'. The chap who let me in insisted on taking my photo next to every item within this tomb - so I have dozens of dodgy photos as per the following:

As we were leaving this tomb 'closed to tourists' about 10 foreign tourists also entered. The chap tried hard for baksheesh (tip), he had to settle for 10EGP due to the lack of exclusivity that was promised.

We then meandered to the Great Pyramid and got up close and personal. Although nowadays, the pyramids are blocky in nature back in ancient Egypt there were smoothed over with a white layer of limestone:

The final stop on the camel was the Sphinx. I personally thought the Sphinx was overrated - it was very weathered and barely retained the detail from the original carving:

The final final stop was in the hostel owned by the camel owner. My guide insisted on taking many photos of me on the hostel roof, and to my surprise I wasn't coerced into buying anything.

We ended the day in a little Koshari shop just outside of Giza, and the tour guide, driver and I ate our Kohsari and chatted about life in Egypt. Our guide left us in Giza and refused to take a tip I offered - this could have been down to the kindness of his heart, or knowing Egyptians he probably got a large cut of the camel that I was bumped on.

Back at the hostel I packed my bag for the 7.45pm overnight train to Luxor. Instead of jumping into a cab to the station and paying the inevitable 'tourist' price, I ordered an Uber and was dropped at the busy Ramses station for a bargain 75p. For dinner I had a crispy chicken sandwich (popular in Egypt!) and stocked up on water for the journey ahead.

Egypt: Chaotic Cairo (14 December 2020)

I arrived in Cairo the previous night and got a good night's sleep in before exploring the city of Cairo. I was expecting an empty flight due to Covid, however, it was rammed. It seemed that the wealthy young Egyptians had been spending time in London before heading home - wealthy, as I've never seen such a high concentration of Yeezys and Rolexes on a flight in economy!

I was staying in the Holy Sheet Hostel. There is not much of a hostel scene in Egypt, this place was more like a small guesthouse. My room had three beds for some reason, and there was only a handful of other guests in the hostel. 

The first task was to get some Egyptian Pounds. I left the hostel wearing shorts and a t-shirt and attracted more attention than usual. To be fair, it is mid-winter in Egypt and people must have thought I was crazy. EGP in hand, I walked to the Egyptian Museum - something I was very much looking forward to pre-trip. 

The museum was much like the rest of Cairo - chaotic. There was an overwhelming number of items in the museum, in different nooks and crannies. The bulk of the items are being moved into the newly built Grand Egyptian Museum, due to open in 2021. Therefore, there were pallets, crates and empty spots dotted around the museum. This by no means took away from the awe of the museum and added a certain Egyptian character.

I spent a good few hours wandering around, trying to take everything in.

The Hall of Mummies had already departed for pastures new, however, there were still a couple of mummies to be found. The detail of the body is amazing, considering this mummy died 4,000 year ago.

There was a whole section dedicated to King Tutankhamun. An insignificant ruler of Ancient Egypt, yet famous in modern history as being the only full preserved pharaonic temple found (to date). The image below is Tut's burial chamber found within his tomb in Lyxor. I attempted to take a photo of King Tut's iconic funeral mask, but got shouted at in Egyptian - I seemingly didn't notice all of the no photo signs:

During my wandering, an Egyptian chap asked me for my Facebook details so he could practice his English. I obliged and then received the following message from him: 'I need learn English. What do I do?' A very good question.

After leaving the museum, I decided to take a lunch time stroll across the Nile. On my walk, a friendly young Egyptian struck up conversation. He worked as an artist in the Opera House, he had a friend who lived in Camden, he knew of Yorkshire. He asked where I was going and told me that there was a better route to walk. I followed him down a few streets as he directed me and then the inevitable happened. 'Ahh this is my brother's shop'. What a coincidence. 'Please come inside and have a look'. At this point, I knew the scam was on. I was inside the shop, sat down, Egyptian tea in hand and about 20 papyrus art pieces placed on the floor - presumably to prevent me from leaving. The guy then attempted to talk through each piece, picked one up, wrote some Arabic on it and then presented it to me. 'Take it free of charge, Egyptian hospitality'. I knew full well it wasn't free, I finished my tea and then attempted to leave. 'You can pay what you want, it's my sister's wedding tomorrow. Money is good luck'. At this point I started making my excuses (was far too nice in this situation, I'll blame it on being too fresh in Cairo). He then showed me the prices of each crappy papyrus art (1500EGP!). At this point I was done and certainly wasn't handing over any more. I dropped the nicely wrapped papyrus and left.

About two minutes after I left, an old man started talking to me. He had a friend who lived in Camden, he knew of Yorkshire - hang on second. A carbon copy story, except this chap had a daughter getting married tomorrow and not a sister. I brushed this chap off and set out to find lunch. I ended up at Cafe Riche and had the most bang average lunch of Kofta Kebabs and bread. Unbeknownst to me, this place had some serious history - a historical meeting point of Cairo's intellectuals and even a presidential assassination. Today the only intellectual was me, this place has clearly seen better times.

Having been nearly been scammed for papyrus, and actually scammed for bang average food I head back despondently to the hostel to plan for tomorrow.

Evening time was market time, I was to head to Khan Al-Khalili market. I decided to take the walk, some 20 minutes away, in incognito mode - I wore jeans and a hoodie to try to fit in more. This actually worked. After 20 minutes of walking through local back alleys, past the lighting street and the furniture street I hit a major intersection, a stalemate of traffic. People were crossing the road in every possible direction. The azan was blaring out from at least 3 different mosques. The best word to describe this was chaotic, and somewhat overwhelming. I kept on walking until I came to the point of no return - local Cairenes jowl to jowl, jostling past one another as the streets turned into an unpassable funnel of limbs. The constant coughing all around was also unsettling. 

At this point I headed back. Had Cairo beaten me today? I think it had.

At the hostel, I gathered the energy for one last outing. For dinner I headed to a local Koshari restaurant (the national Egyptian fast food dish). After a swift walk I was at Abou Tarek's:

I was super glad to have made it, rather than taking the easy option of ordering in food or finding an ever reliable western fast food place. About Tarek's only sold Koshari and it was ready in an instant. A mixture of spaghetti, macaroni and lentils topped with a tomato sauce, garlic vinegar, chick peas and crispy onions. It feels like a student meal of throwing a bit of everything into a dish. It was outrageously filling and cost a grand total of 40EGP (around £2). 

Absolutely stuffed, I took a walk over the Nile that I attempted earlier. This time no one kidnapped me into a papyrus store.