The 'Stans - Darvaza to Khiva (31 July 2019)

Today was a slog. 400km from Darvaza to Khiva, via Konye-Urgench. It must have taken the best part of 10 hours and involved my first border crossing of the trip. I had read horror stories of crossing the Turkmen/Uzbek border, so braced myself for a rough day.

I woke up super early as the sun rendered all sleep impossible through the heat and brightness. I woke up feeling lucky to have spent the night in near solitude, sleeping next to something as spectacular as Darvaza. My ever present guide made breakfast and packed away my little tent.

I parted ways with the Dutch guys and wished them luck with the rest of the trip. We were both heading the same way, and would most likely bump into each other in Uzbekistan where we said we'd share a beer. However, that was the last I heard from the Dutch guys. As the Land Cruiser was heading north to Khiva, my guide received a message from the Dutch guys' guide who said their not so trusty VW van had broken down.

Turkmenistan is not the place to break down. Especially in the desert. Especially with a visa ending that very day.

We ploughed on regardless to Konye-Urgench, only stopping for toilet breaks on the way. The scenery remaining constant throughout.

Kunya-Urgench is located just south of the border of Uzbekistan and contains minarets and mausoleums from the 13th and 14th centuries. It was my first ancient Silk Road settlement - although not as spectacular as the Uzbek Silk Road, it was still inspiring and offered a chance to interact with local Turkmen.

In fact, I turned out to be a bit of a celebrity here. I don't know whether it was the above-the-knee shorts or the blonde hair, I must have posed for at least a dozen photos.

Having enjoyed my five minutes of fame, I headed back to the Land Cruiser for the final leg of the Turkmenistan journey. "Border closed". We had mis-timed the journey and had hit lunch time at the Dasoguz border - lunchtime equals no border crossing. We instead found a restaurant in the border town and I sat down to a kebab. My guide also ate, but chose to sit at a different table, very near mine. Maybe it was something I said.

We finally made it to the Uzbek border. My driver dropped me, we said our goodbyes, I exchanged my Manat to So'm. I was now on my own. Although Turkmenistan is considered a harder country to navigate, I was never alone and was treated very well. At this border my Central Asia trip felt like it was really beginning.

I walked up to the Turkmenistan border building. A large group of locals had gathered in a gaggle by the door waiting to be called in. When they saw me waiting by them, in full range of the sun, they all shouted 'tourist, tourist' and waived me to the front of the group. One even shouted at the border guard to let me in the building. In I went. I was whisked through the process and out into no man's land. Maybe Central Asia isn't as scary as people think...

At no man's land, I waited for the bus to take me to the Uzbek border. A one mile ride in a soviet era mini bus. The driver asked me where I was from and he responded with Liverpool players' names.

We stepped off the bus and into the Uzbek border control building. The building was guarded by soldiers who couldn't have been older than 18. Again, most of the soldiers spoke some English and shouted football players names at me - when in doubt, also resort to football.

I passed through the border with no hassle and no questions. I had read that the Uzbek border was notorious for harassment - for border guards reviewing every photo on your phone, searching every square inch of your belongings and declaring every medicine that was being carried. But, there was none. Just a friendly smile and a 'welcome to Uzbekistan'. Uzbekistan has recently opened up to tourists and the outside world. Visas are far easier to obtain and this border cross is now one of welcoming and happiness.

I pass through the border building and out onto the street. In life I have developed a deep-rooted distrust towards taxi drivers. One such taxi driver had been driving away from the border but double took when he was the foreigner and made a beeline for me. He already had a paying passenger but couldn't resist getting another - $10 for the 3 hour ride to Khiva. I sat up in the front, with my bag on my lap. No leg room. No air conditioning. No idea where I was going.

The Turkmen passenger spoke a bit of English, and asked me if I had a wife. When I said no, the taxi driver looked in shock. After a while it was just me and the taxi driver on the road to Khiva, sweating out in the sauna on wheels. Finally we made it to Khiva.

I was dropped at the front door of the Khiva Alibek hostel, directly outside the main gate of Khiva. I was absolutely knackered and found a comfortable spot to lie down for a while.

One fellow traveller said it was cheaper to enter Khiva after a certain time - I went to the ticket office and tried to buy a cheap tickets. She refused and said I should come back tomorrow.

Instead, I waited and watched from the vantage point of my hostel until the old town closed up for the night and the entrances were no longer guarded at around 8pm. I went for a dusk-time stroll and came across two of Khiva's famous minarets beautifully lit up.

Kalta Minor:

Islam Khodja Minaret:

At this point I called it a day and went back to the hostel for some much needed rest. Who knew sitting down in a car all day could be so exhausting.

The 'Stans - Ashgabat to Darvaza (30 July 2019)

This was the most anticipated part of the trip for me - seeing Darvaza; the 'door to hell', the 'gates of hell'. It is the sort of place that no one really knows, yet everyone has seen on one of the '5 most extreme places in the world' articles littered on travel blogs. Had Darvaza not been in Turkmenistan, I may have missed it altogether. But Darvaza was a must-see for me.

Darvaza is quite literally a hole in the middle of an extremely remote desert. Having a guide and a Land Cruiser made the journey extremely simple - something that was priceless on a short trip. I'd read about people making it near to Darvaza by bus, however, traversing the final hour on foot through the sand of the desert in 40 degree heat is no joke.

The day started with some free time in Ashgabat. In the hotel reception, my guide found someone to translate to me. We did not want to get to the desert too early, because, well it is the desert. So I was told to meet the driver back in the hotel at midday. This left me a couple of hours to buy some fruit and stroll around the area near the hotel. I settled on pizza for lunch and made the most of the black market exchange rates.

At midday I met my guide and we drove to a shopping mall to pick up supplies for the overnight stay at Darvaza. The guide dropped me and told me he would be back in around 2 hours. Before heading to the mall, I walked to the exit and had a walk around Ashgabat, down to the site of the stadia built for the 5th Asian Indoor and Martial Arts Games, completed in 2017 and costing close to $5 billion.

Again the streets were empty and I could find no way into the stadium grounds. It looked as though it had not been used since the games in 2017. Suffering from near heat stroke, I walked back to the mall via an underpass and saw my first glimpse of the 'non-manicured' Turkmenistan. 3 or 4 Turkmen people sleeping and what looked like living in the underpass.

After an hour or so, I was back at the mall which happened to be the busiest place in Turkmenistan. Full of the young Turkmen hanging about; eating, shopping and drinking.

I located my guide and we did a supermarket dash of water, meat (lamb and chicken), vegetables, sweets, coca cola - the lot. We saved the best until last. A bottle of Turkmen vodka to cheers our arrival at Darvaza.

With the shopping packed, we started out 266km journey to the crater.

As we headed further outside of Ashgabat, we started to see the real Turkmenistan. Away from the white marble cladding, Turkmenistan is an impoverished nation with all the gas funds being filtered into vanity projects for the President - think the airport shaped like an eagle and the gold statue of Niyazov.

The road started out as a smooth Ashgabat highway and slowly degraded with every passing kilometre, until finally we were surrounded by sand.

From this:

 To this:

On the way we stopped at two other crater in the vicinity. Both craters were nothing but a tepid warm up act for crater number 3 - Darvaza. The crater itself is the consequence of an ill-judged Soviet attempt to dig for gas. In 1971, the drilling rig collapsed into a 70m crater. To avoid the gas releasing into the air, it was set alight and continued burning until present.

At a non-descript turning, the land cruiser hit a hard right and left what little road we had been driving on. Now we were off-road, tearing over sand dunes and heading further into the distance. After about 20 minutes, we start to see some signs of civilisation. A handful of huts dotted in the distance, at which point we got our first glimpse of the crater, and my word is it spectacular.

In the light of day, one can see a vast expanse just open up in the middle of the desert, right before your eyes. What is truly remarkable is how untouched the area is - just a few huts in site. No town, no shops, no hawkers - just the crater.

I meandered up a hill to get a better view of the crater and just sat and watched. After a while a group of four Dutch men followed the route I had taken and we started to talk. These guys were doing the Mongol Rally in a VW people carried come van. We exchanged routes and our different expectations of Turkmenistan, and then headed back down the hill to our respective guides. The Dutch guy said I was brave to be tackling Central Asia on my own More to come on the Dutch guys later...

Once I locate my guide, I sit down to a freshly prepared meal that he has been slaving over for the past hour, with a full table setting:

It turns out the Dutch guys were camping in the same enclosure as me. They did not receive the same hospitality that my guide had given me, and looked enviously on. After finish my chicken, I cracked open the vodka and offered it around to the Dutch guys in exchange for some warm beer. We sat around the camp, listening to techno and drinking until sunset, which is when Darvaza became magical.

At this point we decided to relocate around the campfire. We carried five chairs, beers and the subwoofer - still blaring out techno. We all sat at the edge of the crater, staring in awe as spectacular show in front of us.

At one point a group of tourists arrived to view the crater, they must have been passing by as they only stayed to complete a lap of the crater. One of them told us that we had ruined their experience with our drinking and techno.

When we had our crater back to ourselves, the Dutch guys produced gas canisters. They were inquisitive as to what would happen if dropped into the crater. So of course, into the crater they go.

I was expecting a large boom and singed eyebrows, but it turned out to be underwhelming. Just a quiet popping. We had ran out of beers and somehow, a man on a bike had turned up offering to get us beers for an extortionate price. With hindsight, not that extortionate consider we were in the middle of nowhere. 

At this point we called it a night and attempted to walk in a straight line back to our camp. This is a lot easier said than done, considering we were in a pitch black desert with no light sources. We struggled back in zig zags and somehow found our camp.

As I went to bed, I stared up at the sky and saw the most beautiful night sky I had ever seen. Every star was clear and seemed within reach.

I jumped into my tiny one man tent, while the Dutch Guys decided to sleep al fresco on a large mat.

The 'Stans - Ashgabat (29 July 2019)

Let's talk about money. 

Turkmenistan's official exchange rate is pegged to the dollar at 3.5 Manat for 1 Dollar. However, there is a also a black market exchange rate of 16/17 Manat to the Dollar. Essentially making everything 4/5 times cheaper. Take this lunch bill for example: $17 dollars under the official exchange rate or $4 using the black market rate.

The Turkmen currency is virtually useless outside of Turkmenistan and the only way to move money out is via dollars. This means that dollar bills are in demand and there is a premium for these. I spoke to my driver and give him a wad of crisp dollar bills. He came back sometime later with Manat at an exchange rate of 16 to 1. Feeling like a baller, we set off on the city tour.

Ashgabat is a vast desert city, littered with white marble clad buildings lining every street. The roads and pavements are spotless. 90% of all cars on the road are white. And the people are...nowhere. We visited some of the biggest 'tourist attractions' in Ashgabat and I had each place to myself.

Ashgabat Neutrality Monument

The first stop was the Neutrality Monument built to commemorate the country's official position of neutrality. I walked to the ticket entrance which was unmanned and looked like it has not been manned for a while, so walked on through. The monument is vast and definitely an impressive site, if a bit bizarre. I noticed what looked like a lift on the side of the monument and found the button to call it down, after a few presses there was no movement. It was the start of a trend in Ashgabat that not everything is as it seems.

I did a lap around the monument and headed back to wait for my guide. Again with not another soul in site. Apart from the odd bus stopping at the monument and dropping off a worker or two.

Monument of Independence

A brief drive away in the air conditioned Toyota Land Cruiser, a brief respite from the 40 degree midday sun was the Monument of Independence, built in 1991 marking independence from the Soviet Union.

Again, I had the entire monument to myself, apart from the Turkmen cleaners who were absolutely everywhere. Sweeping what was already a perfectly clean spot

At this point my guide had driven off and I could not find him anywhere, having left a wad of cash and my passport in the car. I was too quick to assume the worse and eventually found him 10 minutes up the road. During this panicked walked I noticed the bouji Ashgabat bus stops. Entirely empty but fully air conditioned, the perfect place to escape the desert heat.

Gold statue of former President Saparmurat Niyazov

Nothing says dictator, like a gold statue.

Alem Cultural and Entertainment Centre

A personal highlight, the world's largest indoor Ferris wheel that contained a video game arcade which was packed with hundreds of school kids on a school trip. For me this was the most striking building in Ashgabat and a building unlike anything else I've seen (outside of Ashgabat).

Of course, when given an opportunity to go on the wheel I took it up. It was only me and a Turkmen family in front of me who were going on the wheel. It seemed as though they turned it on just for us. For about 50 cents, I took in the sights of Ashgabat from above. 

Though the actual Ferris wheel could do with a bit of a clean.

The Wedding Palace

Another bizarre building.

The wedding palace is used for wedding ceremonies, though there were none happening when I visited. I had a stroll through the palace which has an underground shopping mall. The majority of the shops were closed, looking like they had never seen a single customer let alone a wedding party.

Turkmenbasy Ruhy Mosque

The final stop in the city tour and the most controversial one. The mosque is shunned by Turkmen Muslims as scriptures from the Runhama (a book of Turkmen spiritual and moral guidance written by former President Niyazov) have been inscribed into the walls alongside those of the Quran's - Niyazov placed the Runhama as the Quran's equal.

Again, the mosque was deserted apart from some young Turkmen soldiers and some older man tending to the needs of the mosque.

After a day surrounded by white marble clad buildings in the 40degree desert heat, I headed back to the hotel to enjoy some pool time which was surprisingly full of local Turkmen families enjoying one of the few pools into Ashgabat. With a beer costing $0.5, I settled in and knocked down one too many. Slightly waved, I headed to a nearby restaurant and settled for some Manty (dumplings) and grilled meat. A couple of young Turkmen students joined me at my table and we started conversing through google translate. They offered me the food they were eating and ordered me another beer (not that I needed one). I wanted to push the boundaries and find out what they really thought of Turkmenistan - they loved their country. The only negative about Ashgabat that they could think of, was the price.

At around 10.30, and seven beers down I asked them where they go 'out out' for an evening. But alas, they reminded me of the 11pm curfew and on that note I strolled back to the hotel and was safely in bed before 11pm.

The ‘Stans - Dubai to Ashgabat (28 July 2019)

28 July 2019 - Dubai to Ashgabat

I started my trip to the ‘Stans from Dubai heading to Ashgabat, two places that I thought would be worlds apart but were in fact extraordinarily similar in their extravagance and opulence.

I jumped in an Uber to Dubai International Airport after an uneventful night in Dubai and headed to Terminal 2. This is a Terminal I had never flown from before and was the beginning of sticking out like a sore thumb for the next month. Whilst waiting for my flight and consuming a KFC to kill the time (KFC Dubai does Shrimp), an Indian student struck up conversation about the UK. He had a small handful of British currency in his hand and asked if I would like to exchange it for Emirati Dirhams. Unfortunately I did not have the loose change to take the £1.50 off him.

Heading to the gate, I started to feel apprehensive. I consider myself to be fairly well travelled, but I had never been to a country as closely controlled and as mysterious as Turkmenistan. Whenever I told people I was heading here, people would look confused and asked if I meant Turkey. The few people who have heard of Turkmenistan had only seen this aspect of it:

The boarding announcement came over the tannoy and I apprehensively joined the queue to board. The only tourist on the entire Turkmenistan Airways flight, flying with what I assumed was the Turkmen elite. The very few allowed to leave their country on their own will.

As the plane flew into Ashgabat, I started to notice row upon row of low rise buildings all with green metal roofs, symbolic of the Turkmen flag. Having read numerous blog post about the perils of taking photos in Turkmenistan, I tested the water and attempted to slyly take one out of the window. It was an anti climax, no one shouted at me, no one stared. Maybe Turkmenistan was more normal than the hundreds of blog posts and articles would make you believe.

The plane touched down at Ashgabat International Airport. A $2billion airport finished in 2016 in the shape of an eagle, finished in white marbled. As far as airports go, it was as good as it gets. No queues, mainly because the airport receives only a handful of international flights a week. In fact there were more police than tourists, one standing guard every 20metres from the gate to the border control.

I arrived at the visa desk to no queue and no staff. In true central Asian style I waited several minutes for the visa people to finish their conversation. I showed my Letter of Invitation and was ushered to the desk adjacent to pay my visa fee ($87) & registration fee ($14) and I received a stamped bit of paper. I was then ushered back to the original desk to show proof of my stamped paper. I was then ushered back to another desk to receive my Turkmenistan visa:

It was beyond a relief to have the visa stamped in my passport - it took weeks of research and reading, debating the pros and cons of a transit visa over a tourist visa, but I had finally made it. To get to this stage I had contacted a number of Turkmen tourism operators to book a guide and a driver to escort me around Turkmenistan. It is notoriously difficult to obtain a Turkmen visa. Firstly you need a Letter of Invitation which is only provided by certain tour operators. Secondly, tourists are required to have a guide accompany them at all times.

You can opt for a transit visa which is cheaper and less restrictive, but I had read too many stories about these visas being denied to people without any logical reasoning.

I passed Turkmen passport control, grabbed my bag and made my way to the exit. A long line of local Turkmen had formed bringing all manor of boxes and crates from Dubai. Luckily there was a tourist lane (which must see little use) and I was guided through with only the slightest of searches.

I entered the arrivals hall and met with Anvar, my guide for the next few days. It was now early evening and we drove to the Ak Altyn hotel, one of the few hotels in Ashgabat to accept foreigners. It was an uninspiring brown cube, with gold windows, but it was home for the time being.

I checked in and started sweeping the room for listening bugs/two way mirrors. I'd read quite a lot on bugged rooms before flying out. But alas, there was nothing that exciting in the room. Maybe I just wasn't important enough to bug.  

The view from my window was of the UFO shaped Turkmen State Circus which was currently guarded by a couple of Turkmen police officers. 

The time was coming up to 11pm - curfew time in Ashgabat. I couldn't whatsapp/Facebook/Instagram that I have arrived due to state censorship, so I hit the hay ready for an early morning tour of Ashgabat.