The 'Stans - Ashgabat (29 July 2019)

Let's talk about money. 

Turkmenistan's official exchange rate is pegged to the dollar at 3.5 Manat for 1 Dollar. However, there is a also a black market exchange rate of 16/17 Manat to the Dollar. Essentially making everything 4/5 times cheaper. Take this lunch bill for example: $17 dollars under the official exchange rate or $4 using the black market rate.

The Turkmen currency is virtually useless outside of Turkmenistan and the only way to move money out is via dollars. This means that dollar bills are in demand and there is a premium for these. I spoke to my driver and give him a wad of crisp dollar bills. He came back sometime later with Manat at an exchange rate of 16 to 1. Feeling like a baller, we set off on the city tour.

Ashgabat is a vast desert city, littered with white marble clad buildings lining every street. The roads and pavements are spotless. 90% of all cars on the road are white. And the people are...nowhere. We visited some of the biggest 'tourist attractions' in Ashgabat and I had each place to myself.

Ashgabat Neutrality Monument

The first stop was the Neutrality Monument built to commemorate the country's official position of neutrality. I walked to the ticket entrance which was unmanned and looked like it has not been manned for a while, so walked on through. The monument is vast and definitely an impressive site, if a bit bizarre. I noticed what looked like a lift on the side of the monument and found the button to call it down, after a few presses there was no movement. It was the start of a trend in Ashgabat that not everything is as it seems.

I did a lap around the monument and headed back to wait for my guide. Again with not another soul in site. Apart from the odd bus stopping at the monument and dropping off a worker or two.

Monument of Independence

A brief drive away in the air conditioned Toyota Land Cruiser, a brief respite from the 40 degree midday sun was the Monument of Independence, built in 1991 marking independence from the Soviet Union.

Again, I had the entire monument to myself, apart from the Turkmen cleaners who were absolutely everywhere. Sweeping what was already a perfectly clean spot

At this point my guide had driven off and I could not find him anywhere, having left a wad of cash and my passport in the car. I was too quick to assume the worse and eventually found him 10 minutes up the road. During this panicked walked I noticed the bouji Ashgabat bus stops. Entirely empty but fully air conditioned, the perfect place to escape the desert heat.

Gold statue of former President Saparmurat Niyazov

Nothing says dictator, like a gold statue.

Alem Cultural and Entertainment Centre

A personal highlight, the world's largest indoor Ferris wheel that contained a video game arcade which was packed with hundreds of school kids on a school trip. For me this was the most striking building in Ashgabat and a building unlike anything else I've seen (outside of Ashgabat).

Of course, when given an opportunity to go on the wheel I took it up. It was only me and a Turkmen family in front of me who were going on the wheel. It seemed as though they turned it on just for us. For about 50 cents, I took in the sights of Ashgabat from above. 

Though the actual Ferris wheel could do with a bit of a clean.

The Wedding Palace

Another bizarre building.

The wedding palace is used for wedding ceremonies, though there were none happening when I visited. I had a stroll through the palace which has an underground shopping mall. The majority of the shops were closed, looking like they had never seen a single customer let alone a wedding party.

Turkmenbasy Ruhy Mosque

The final stop in the city tour and the most controversial one. The mosque is shunned by Turkmen Muslims as scriptures from the Runhama (a book of Turkmen spiritual and moral guidance written by former President Niyazov) have been inscribed into the walls alongside those of the Quran's - Niyazov placed the Runhama as the Quran's equal.

Again, the mosque was deserted apart from some young Turkmen soldiers and some older man tending to the needs of the mosque.

After a day surrounded by white marble clad buildings in the 40degree desert heat, I headed back to the hotel to enjoy some pool time which was surprisingly full of local Turkmen families enjoying one of the few pools into Ashgabat. With a beer costing $0.5, I settled in and knocked down one too many. Slightly waved, I headed to a nearby restaurant and settled for some Manty (dumplings) and grilled meat. A couple of young Turkmen students joined me at my table and we started conversing through google translate. They offered me the food they were eating and ordered me another beer (not that I needed one). I wanted to push the boundaries and find out what they really thought of Turkmenistan - they loved their country. The only negative about Ashgabat that they could think of, was the price.

At around 10.30, and seven beers down I asked them where they go 'out out' for an evening. But alas, they reminded me of the 11pm curfew and on that note I strolled back to the hotel and was safely in bed before 11pm.